What a Badass
by CanadianSpoon
Summary: Human AU; 2P!verse; Samuel is enjoying a regular day at his favorite place to relax, the nearby coffee house, when suddenly some rude Italian tells him off! Samuel's way of getting him back? Prank him. But it doesn't go guilt-free when Samuel realizes that he and this rude stranger have something personal in common that undoubtedly makes them feel different towards each other.


**A/N:** **I** **'m taking a little break from Bending All the Rules and When All Was Lost to write some one-shots! I came across some AU ideas on Tumblr, and then it came upon me that I've never published a one-shot! I've written some on paper in the past, but I've never actually posted any to the internet! It was a shocking discovery, so I decided to dedicate some time and writing to a handful of short, one chapter stories. As I mentioned before, I stumbled upon a Tumblr post, or a master post rather, of AU ideas that I'm assuming were up for grabs! I would credit the original posters, but many of the user names were cut off. So, credit to whoever came up with these creative alternatives to the everyday, overly used AUs, and I hope I did these ideas some justice. This fourth one is about a pair meeting in a coffee shop but they don't exactly hit it off right away. Enjoy and please review!**

 **Human AU [NOT countries!]**

 **2P!verse [Note that I do not use the conventionally accepted names for the characters, such as Matt or Luciano, so please refer to this Author's Note if you have trouble remembering whose name belongs to which character]**

 **Pairing: Samuel Williams(2P!Canada) x Nicola Vargas(2P!North Italy)**

 **Minor Character: Matthew Williams(1P!Canada)**

 **Warning: Use of foul language.**

 **Note: The poor grammar and spelling for Samuel's texts is completely intentional! Any other possible mistakes are because I'm writing this at 3 in the morning.**

* * *

What a Badass

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
hey im at the coffee shop down the street from ur place. u want anythig? B)

Samuel opened the door to his favorite midtown getaway, pulling the hood of his damp jacket down. He wiped his shoes on the doormat inside as to not track in any rain or mud.

"Nice and toasty in here, eh?" he chuckled to the barista. "So hot I might have to get my coffee on ice!"

The barista laughed warmly, getting ready a marker in order to write Sam's drink order before another customer had paced his way to the building, stepping inside and shaking off his umbrella.

"Good evening," the employee smiled to the guest, then turned back to his frequent patron, "And what can I get started for you, Williams?" he asked.

"Ah, hold on one sec." Samuel took his phone out from his back pocket in order to check his messages.

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
No, thanks! I've got someone over and we've already made some hot chocolate :) I appreciate it though, Sam!

' _Is this guy really just standing there reading his phone?_ ' thought Nicola as he folded up his umbrella. He knew exactly what he wanted before he even entered the establishment, and he wasn't in the patient mood.

"Oh _really_?" Samuel said aloud to himself, tapping the screen of his phone in a disgruntled manner.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
that so? whos ur guest? ur fuckin boyfriend? u kno u never spend time with me anymore mattie! :(

The blonde huffed and put his phone back in his pocket.

"'Kay, lemme think... Uhh... Hmm, I dunno, let's see here..." the Canadian tapped his bristly chin as his indigo eyes browsed the menu.

Nicola's tolerance was beginning to slip away. Was it really so difficult to just get a quick cup of coffee and spend some time alone?

"Not sure if I should get it iced or hot..." Samuel went on, "I mean, it's warm in here, but it's real cold outside, y'know? Then again, I'll be sitting inside, so maybe iced? But it's a chilly time of year, no one drinks iced coffee right now. That's just weird. Wouldn't that be kinda weird? Drinking iced coffee when it's cold out. No one else is drinking iced coffee. Well that's 'cause everyone else is probably not weird like that. Or maybe they're just not smart, because it's warm in here and they should be drinking iced coffee? I dunno. I just don't wanna overheat if I get a hot coffee, y'know? I guess I could just take my jacket off though, but I'm wearing a short sleeve and if someone opens the door I'll get cold or something. Though I guess I could just not sit by the door, haha. Hm, I'm not so sure..." the man continued squinting up at the menu, rubbing his chin.

The brunette behind him in line was going absolutely mad.

' _How can anyone be this indecisive?! This is ridiculous!_ ' thought Nicola, ' _Can't he let me go first if he doesn't even know what the hell he wants?!_ '

"Oh, that looks pretty good for this weather." Samuel felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. "Ah, just a minute." The blonde took out his phone to view the message.

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
We're not dating, but yes, I know who you're talking about and yes, he is over. But look, I'm basically spending time with you right now! I'll stay on the phone with you as long as you want, k? :)

Samuel smiled.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
well ok B) what r u guys up to? not cuddling right? that's our thing rememebr! haha ;)

The blonde chuckled and returned his phone to his pocket once again.

"Right, uhh..." the Canadian stuck out his tongue in concentration, "Shit, what did I want again?"

"Dio mio, will you _please_ get out of the line if you don't know what you want?! All I need is a cup of coffee!" Nicola shouted, as his patience finally escaped him.

Samuel was taken aback. He even looked around, wondering if the stranger was yelling at _him_.

"What, _me_?" he asked, astonished at the man's volume.

"Yes, stupido! I'm not going to wait here for a lifetime!"

"Well you don't have to be so rude, asshole!" scoffed the blonde, stepping out of the line nonetheless, as he still hadn't decided what he wanted.

" _Thank you_!" Nicola sighed and stepped forward to the counter, "I'll take a small black coffee with room."

"Will that be all, sir?" the barista asked.

"Yes." Nicola handed the man three dollars, telling him to put the change in the tip jar.

"I'll have that right out. And have you decided, Mr. Williams?"

"Maybe I could've by now if that guy hadn't interrupted me..." he pouted, crossing his arms. "But, whatever. I guess I'll just have my usual."

Nicola gritted his teeth as he walked away to find a place to settle. ' _All that time deciding and he was just going to order his usual anyway?_ ' The Italian rolled his eyes, taking a seat by a window. He opened his bag to take out a blank notepad and pen, setting it on the table beside him.

After Samuel had ordered and paid, he went to grab his habitual seat in the corner of the room. Having situated himself, he pulled out a book that his best friend, Matthew, had let him borrow. The Canadian sat it down on the table before him when his phone buzzed. He took it out and read the message.

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Oh shut up Sam. I can cuddle with whoever I want :P How's your coffee?

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
i dunno i havent got it yet cuz some ASSHOLE cut me in line! !

The blonde sat his phone down and opened his book to the marked page, continuing reading from wherever he had left off. He glanced over to see that the man from moments ago was now writing on a note pad.

' _Hmph. Better be some important business shit he's writing for rushing me out of line!_ ' thought Samuel as he turned back to his book. Before long, Matthew had replied.

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Is that so? Did you beat him up? :o

Samuel snickered.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
no no. i let him go. it was just a little skirmish thats all. nothin too big :/

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
besides his face was too pretty to punch B)

His friend replied almost immediately

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Really now? He must be attractive if he escaped the wrath of Samuel.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
oh hes hot alright. id hit that if he wasnt such a dutchbag

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
? Douchbag?

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
watever u knew what i meant

Samuel watched as Nicola stood to get his coffee. He scanned the rear view of the Italian as the brunette mixed in his cream and sugar, taking in a good eyeful before he'd sat back down.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
but yea hes got the face and definitly the ass but his attitude is too much for me to handle kno what im sayin

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Samuel...

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
I don't think you can handle anyone's personality, to be honest. You go through guys quicker than the Flash runs laps.

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
I don't want to say you have commitment issues, but you need to work on keeping someone around for more than a night or two instead of pushing people away immediately?

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Not that one night stands are bad or anything, I just know it's not what you really want. I know you.

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Sam? Did I make you upset? I'm just saying that you'll never move on from him if you don't consider a serious relationship. I'm just worried about you :(

Samuel got up to get his own drink, sitting back at his table. He gave it a few moments before he replied, gathering his thoughts.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
mattie im fine.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
its not like i havent been trying. i want to date again i just havent found the right one

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Are you telling me that you've seriously been looking for dating material? Not just somebody to you-know-what?

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
u can say fuck

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
and no i havent been actively looking alright ive just been on the rebound i guess. but ill start lookig i swear! ill eventually ask someone out on a real date haha :')

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Like this guy you're checking out? ;)

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
are u crazy?! he got hella mad at me just for trying to figure out what i want to drink! this guy needs to chill the fuck out. hes def not dating material

Just as Samuel sent his message, Nicola put down his notepad and pen, rubbing the temples of his forehead. He sighed and got up, apparently to use the restroom.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
oh shit dude hes leaving to the batroom im gonna fuk with his rude ass !

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Sam don't get yourself in trouble!

Snickering, the blonde sat his phone down beside his ignored book and left his seat. He went over to the counter to see what crazy ingredients he could whip up in this stranger's beverage.

' _What the- salt? I don't know what the hell this is meant for, but I know what I'm using it for!_ '

Samuel hastily made his way to the other man's settlement, taking the lid off of his coffee and pouring in an ungodly amount of table salt, trying to muffle his laughter the entire time. He caught sight of the notepad that the brunette had been scribbling on.

' _What's this?_ ' Samuel's nosiness got the better of him and he leaned over to examine what was written.

' _Dear Carlo..._ ' the blonde read along in his mind, taking note that he had to be quick, ' _This is difficult for me to...blah blah blah... I caught you with that woman... holy shit... I feel used and lied to... I need to move on, this relationship ended when you decided to cheat on me... God damn, this is serious-_ ' Samuel heard the bathroom door open and close. ' _Shit, shit, shit!_ ' He scurried off, but had forgotten the salt on the table. He went back to get it, rushing it to the counter, and just in time he'd landed in his chair.

Nicola sighed, sitting back down and picking up his notepad, reading over his letter.

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
SAMUEL! You haven't texted back, what did you do?!

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
i put salt in his coffee

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Oh my God, you're an asshole!

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
i know i know, but i really regret it!

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
when i did it, i started reading this notepad that he was writing on, it was bad man. he was writing to his boyfriend or lover or some shit. he said they need to break up!

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
mattie, he got cheated on, just like me! and he aparently likes guys? what are the odds!

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Samuel, you just put salt in his coffee. If you were considering asking him out now, I think it's out of the question.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
yeah but he doesnt kno it was me tho!

Samuel watched wide-eyed as the Italian reached for his coffee. He almost wanted to intervene, but that would reveal him as the perpetrator. The blonde bit his lip in agony and watched as the other man brought the cup to his mouth. Nicola took a sip, and...just sat the cup back down.

' _What the hell?!_ ' thought Samuel, baffled.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
holy fuck, he drank it!

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
u dont understand he didnt even notice! like he didnt even look at his cup like it tasted funny or anything! what a badass!

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
You really think he doesn't realize it tastes off?

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
no dude hes still drinking it wtf?! this is so disgusting but hot? like what a man tho ;)

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
There is something seriously wrong with you. And him. But more you.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
hes not even phased like this guy can take anything. he probably works out all day like so much even his taste buds are strong they can handle anything like bring it on

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
That's not how exercise works. You are the strangest man I've ever known.

Nicola nodded to himself after reviewing the final draft of his letter. He packed up his bag and drank the last of his coffee before getting up to throw away the cup.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
god damn he drank every last drop what a stud. this guy is so attractive. and maybe hes not a douche after all. like maybe he was just upset cuz he had to write this letter u know? hes probably nice when hes not thinking about the guy that just cheated on him

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
shit matt i think hes leaving! :(((

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
Well are you going to ask him out?! Damn, go do it already!

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
fuckin christ watch ur language mattie!

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
ok ok shit hes leaving he is opening his umbrella he is going out the door

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
SAM GO!

Samuel put his phone in his pocket, packed up his book, and bolted out the door hopefully to catch the other man outside. Panting lightly, he peered out into the dark, damp parking lot, trying to get a glimpse through the rain. The blonde sighed, unable to spot the stranger which had sparked his interest. He went to go back into the cafe, when he heard faint coughing in the area. He saw, under the bus stop nearby, the man with the umbrella.

The brunette folded up his umbrella and sat down on the dry bench beneath the bus stop covering, waiting for the ride to his apartment. He heard hurried footsteps coming toward him, and turned his head to find the blonde man from inside taking a seat beside him on the other side of the bench.

"Hey!" Samuel grinned, not knowing exactly what to say now that he was there. "Uh, my name's Samuel."

Nicola examined the blonde, suspicious about his motive.

"I'm Nicola."

"Ah, Nicola. What a nice name, haha. Um, look, I just wanted to apologize for earlier-"

"Oh? For calling me an 'asshole', or for putting salt in my coffee?" asked the brunette.

The blue-eyed man blushed in the dim light of the bus stop. "W-Well, both. Sorry for both. About that though, I noticed you didn't even flinch when you drank your coffee, even though it was probably really gross. I thought that was pretty bitchin', haha." Samuel chuckled nervously. He hadn't thought through what he would actually say to the man once he'd found him. "And, I saw on your notepad that-"

Nicola gasped, "You looked at my personal things? And now you're hitting on me? After all you've done so far is insult me, prank me, and invade my privacy? Who the hell do you think you are?" Nicola scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. This blonde boy sure was hopeful.

"I know, I know. We got off to a rough start... But here's the thing. I'm not trying to make up excuses for my behavior, and I don't want your pity. But in your letter - sorry about that too by the way - if I read correctly, you're going through some shit with your...partner?"

"Perhaps."

"Well, I know how you feel. Manipulated. Used."

"Do you?" Nicola looked to him with stoic eyes, inspecting him once more.

"Yes, I do." Samuel crossed his arms, leaning back against the bench, "I've been there. Very recently, actually. I was with my ex for years and... long story short, he'd been sleeping around for most of the time we were together. It fucking hurt, you know? It still does... And that's the thing, all I want is to move on, but I can't do it by myself. I need someone, but not just someone to break the fall or anything, or someone to fix me. I need someone I can hang out with, and have a drink with, and relate to. And I've been searching, but I feel the same way about every guy. We sleep together, he sticks around for a couple days, I get scared that he'll leave me, so I leave him first. But you... I feel something different about you. Like I can trust you. You're really hot, and obviously tough after drinking that goddamn salt coffee," chuckled the Canadian, "And I can tell you've got a stubborn spirit, which is really cool. Confidence is really cool... God, I know this is weird, because I just met you like, twenty minutes ago? And it was in an argument? Even so, I just can't shake this feeling. Like I want to get to know more of you. And I know that you were cheated on too, so some part of you has got to feel this way, right? Some part of you wants someone to pick you back up? To fill this fucking hole inside your chest? I don't know. I thought maybe you'd feel the same since we're both going through similar bullshit. You just seem so fucking cool and I want to really know you. I know I don't deserve it though. I always go for guys that are way outta my league."

Nicola released a soft laugh, "You're a real flatterer, and a cute one, too. I just don't understand why you're dying to know me when we've only just met."

"Because, you've been through the same shit. You know how it feels. I can trust that you won't cheat on me, or leave me. But it's not just that. It's you too. You're really smart, and fiery, and it just intrigues the hell outta me. And I'm not even saying it'll get that far, to where we have a relationship going. What I'm saying is that I'm willing to go on more than just a few dates to find out. If you'll give me a chance, that is." Samuel gulped, trying to force his apprehension back. "I know you don't wanna date someone that's desperate, and that's cool, that's fine. The only reason I seem so desperate is because I'd regret it if I just let you go without even taking the opportunity."

"You see that much potential with me?"

"Yes, I-" Samuel saw the bus approaching Nicola's stop. "I really don't want to part ways already, there's so much I want to learn about you. I just have this gut feeling that I'm meant to get to know you. But I know you have to go, so I'll just ask. Would you please give this a chance? Just one date, and if you don't feel the same way I do, I'll let it go, I promise."

"Samuel," Nicola laughed again, amused that the blonde felt the need to try so hard, "I already feel the same way about you. You are very...strange. But in a good way. It fascinates me. It makes me laugh," the brunette smiled, "I will give you a chance. Meet me here again, Friday, same time?"

"At the bus stop? Won't it confuse the bus driver if we're just hanging out here?"

"No, you funny man, at the coffee shop!" he beamed and gave Samuel a peck on the cheek as the bus stopped, the doors opening. "You keep making me smile like this, and you won't have to try so hard." Nicola gave a playful wave as he stepped onto the bus, Samuel catching him wink as the doors closed.

As the bus rolled off, the Canadian sighed, laying back in relief. His phone had buzzed long ago, and he'd forgotten about it up until now. He opened his phone and checked the message.

 _-Message_ **Received** _from_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
So, did you finally get a date?

Samuel couldn't hold back his smile.

 _-Message_ **Sent** _to_ _Best Bro Mattie_ :  
the most badass date

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 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading, please favorite and review! Check out my other one shots and stories if you liked this one!**


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